A couple of weeks ago one of my friends asked a question that i thought was worth talking about. He inquired about how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes - even when things are going good.
To be honest it is not an easy question to reply to as it differs for every person. There are literally thousands of books that have been written on that matter only. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears generally involves lowering the gradient.
Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are similar to steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will probably be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it over and over you will begin to build up a "complex" regarding failing, and soon stop trying anymore.
If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be frightening - not really impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences leaping that high you may fail too.
The correct approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most secure method to climb a ladder.
Here are a few examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in meeting women and dating women:
As many guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. Sometimes it is especially frightening. Therefore while I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how gorgeous she is and how much I am attracted to her (that exposes my fear of being shot down in front of lots of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say "Hi." If a girl likes you or has an interest in you she will find a way to carry on the conversation. If she doesn't then i understand she is not interested in me and the simple "Hi" just shows that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - so I don't feel shot down in front of others.
If I am starting to date a woman and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I will not ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she would like to chill, get cozy, and just watch a movie at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she certainly won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my place. Or instead of trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to find out how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.
These are a few examples. If you feel uncomfortable and scared just try to consider a lower gradient which isn't as scary and lets you make forward progress toward your ultimate goal. If you do this you will know how to meet women and the way to connect with them in a short time.